I want to have your abortion
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
