Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
