I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
