the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
