I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
