Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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