I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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