How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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