He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
When are your genitals available?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
