so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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