I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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