Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
