I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
