You can't special order awesome
He kissed a someone with a penis
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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