I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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