3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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