I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How's work?
Spinning.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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