I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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