Its about making memories worth repressing
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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