when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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