I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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