So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
