I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
