I'm gonna have a badass scar
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
