after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
