She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
