i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize