walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
