did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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