You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize