I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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