every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
