We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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