Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
