All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
