I want to stick my p in your. b.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
