Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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