I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
