so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
