i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
