he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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