Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
