He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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