is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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