after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
where does the pee come out of this thing
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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