The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
