just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
