Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
