obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
