Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
