No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
