Who did Billy Mays play for?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
NoShamevember. You game?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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