who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have fence marks all over my body
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
