I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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