is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Operation Purity has been aborted
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
