I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize