I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You made out with two different species that night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Everclear isn't food dammit
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