one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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